Something To Think About and Journal Notes

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT

     Ecclesiastes 3:18-21

     “As for humans, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals.  Surely the fate of human beings is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both:  As one dies, so dies the other.  All have the same breath (literally “spirit”); humans have no advantage over animals.  Everything is meaningless.  All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return.  Who knows if the human spirit rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?”

      JOURNAL NOTES

      This writing is not only about Midnight, our black cat that lives outside, but to him.  He has not been home since April 11 and I fear the worst even though I don’t want to face it, but my hope is fading.  So this writing is to him and if he has passed to another journey, I hope he is okay with it.  To Midnight:

     You were gone three nights in March and when you came home you were very ill and worse for the wear.  I thought I had lost you, but you did come home.  During your absence I reflected on our relationship.  We do not touch.  We have close proximity to each other, but no petting.  However, you show up and I feed you.  Sometimes you sit on the welcome mat and we talk.  I should say, I talk and you will listen until you have had enough and move on.  You are my confidant and teacher.  I provide your needs.  This is the nature of our relationship and we are both happy with it.  I used to say you were feral.  I don’t do that now, nor will I in the future.  You are not feral.  You live at our home, just outside, and you have a name we gave you, Midnight Green.  You have family because I love you.  When you are away I watch for you.  I don’t take you for granted because you live outside and there are dangers you must face daily.  So I appreciate the days we have together however many there may be. Our time together was less than I thought it would be.  

     You stayed home and regained your strength and health again.  Saturday, April 11, would be our last time together; the last day I saw you.  You came at 6:30 a.m. for your breakfast just as you had every morning for the past five years.  In the evening time you came for your supper.  You touched my ankle with your paw; I talked to you about your food.  You looked at me with your big gold eyes as though what I said had value.  You ate your food and I sat on the step.  When you finished, you cleaned your paws then walked to the end of the house by the rose bush, sat down briefly, then walked away like so many times before.  I did not realize it would be our last encounter.  It seems like this past year has been rife with sadness.  I never said “goodbye” to you; I don’t like goodbye.  I always said, “I’ll see you later.”  I watch for you everyday.

     April 16——Today is the fifth day you have been gone.  I lament your absence.  Where are you, Midnight?  Are you hurt?  Are you still alive?  I put your food out hoping you will come home.  My heart is heavy and hope begins to wane.  It is hard not knowing what has happened to you.  Please come home if you are able.

     April 17——I called your name this morning but you did not come.  I have been watching for you. I cannot give up on you yet.

     April 19——We looked for you this afternoon, but whatever has happened, you could not make it back to your home.  This evening a kitten, maybe 3-4 months old came looking for food.  It was all black, every bit as dark as you.  I believe it to be your legacy.

     April 21——You are not home this morning and I pen these words for you.  I am Stoic and even though my logical pragmatic mind tells me your loss was inevitable, my heart does not allow me such luxury.  I mourn you because I can do nothing else for you.

     This part of writing is for myself and if anyone reads it and gains anything from it, I am happy.  Above I included scripture from Ecclesiastes 3:18-21 regarding our place in eternity and the animals.  As a child I was taught that animals could not enter heaven because they had no soul.  Even at this young age I had issue with this idea.  I loved animals then as I love them now.  How could this be true?  It’s not.  No animal has ever committed any sin.  They live as they must to survive and bear no guilt of the seven deadly sins as Homo sapiens do.  So who is more deserving of a heaven?  Anyway, I have resolve this idea and my angst of an eternity without animals; I go where  the animals go.

     I include this quote of John Banovich:  “There is an ancient mystery in the eyes of the beast.  Looking deep within, we come face to face with ourselves.  For they are the windows to our past, and the prophecy of our future.”

     I went a direction I did not intend, but I want everyone to know that the pain felt when we lose something we love is because we have lost a part of ourselves.  We have lost something we have shared our time and invested our emotion.  The next time you look at your kitty, take your dog for a walk, feed your fish or watch your hamster, or whatever you are investing in, remember you are looking at the descendant of something older and wiser than us and our emotional investment is worthwhile.  I believe we all want to connect to something that is better than ourselves.  So, look around you and see all that you love.  Be mindful of your good fortune.  When you must part for an hour, a day, or more, never say “goodbye.”  Say as I say to Midnight, “I’ll see you later.”